Text: John 17:20-26 The Message (MSG)
20-23 I’m praying not only for them
But also for those who will believe in me
Because of them and their witness about me.
The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind—
Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they’ll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they’ll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you’ve sent me and loved them
In the same way you’ve loved me.
24-26 Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.
In the Name of God, the Holy and Undivided Trinity. Amen.
“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool Mom.” This is from the 1950s “Captain Penny” TV show, Cleveland, Ohio.
Well, here it is again – Mother’s Day; and, as it happens every year at this time, I was confronted with several different considerations when I sat down to write this sermon. On the one hand, I didn’t want to just indulge in the usual platitudes we hear about mothers and motherhood, because we’ve heard them all before, first of all, and secondly, because of that they might not have quite the impact we’re looking for today – and I really do think it’s appropriate that we have a time set aside to honor, not just our mothers, or even all the mothers of the world, but all women who have ever played a part in nurturing us, our children, and healing our world. Added to this, of course, is the fact that I am painfully aware that I really don’t know what it’s actually like to be a mother. I have a mother, I’m married to a woman who’s a mother, my daughter is now a mother – but everything I know about mothers and motherhood I learned by mere observation and inference. So I recognize – again – that I’m no expert.
In other words: I got nothin’!
That is to say, I had nothin’ until I decided to consult my resident expert on motherhood. I asked Katie the open-ended question: “What would you like to hear someone say on Mother’s Day? Here’s what she said, verbatim, complete, and unedited:
Not that I would have believed anybody 35 years ago but in the following years I would have liked to have heard this regarding motherhood:
Motherhood is the longest, hardest job you’ll ever have. It starts when you’re pregnant and it progresses in stages just like the child. Early in the game the job requires 24/7 attention. In our day we called this Red Alert from the scenarios on Star Trek. Only it was all day everyday. Plus we had kids that didn’t sleep through the night until they were 5 years old.
Lesson learned: You are going to make mistakes. Fatigue plus 24/7 alertness equals “it’s not always going to go well.”
Say you’re sorry. Tell them you love them. Keep going. Never give up.
The biggest problem I faced was fatigue and so I always remember to say to new moms, rest whenever you can. Take care of yourself. It’s like being on a airplane and the directions come on: “In case of emergency put your own air mask on before trying to help others.” You are no good to anybody if you are in bad condition. Eat well. Sleep as much as possible. Exercise. Breathe. Pray. Get help as needed. Keep going. Except when you can’t.
Lesson Learned: You need friends and family. If they aren’t available go find some community. There are moms out there. Support is invaluable. Mostly because you need another adult to talk to but also because you feel held up…someone has your back. This bond of moms frequently leads to long time friends. The most fabulous thing in the universe is grandmothers but if there isn’t one available go find someone who fits the bill.
When things go wrong learn to correct your mistakes. Admit the mistake, correct it and keep going. We only do as good as we know. And when we learn better, we change. There is no one right answer. Try every thing. This is where the support of other parents is so helpful. Be open to listening for answers and for when someone needs help.
Lesson Learned: forgive yourself. You obviously love your child otherwise you wouldn’t feel the guilt. Your child loves you. Work through the mistakes and then let them go. This was very difficult for me to learn. My son had to say over and over, You did okay, Mom.
Childhood goes so fast. This is hard for the new parent to believe but that’s sleep deprivation. The cycle of life, in all it’s stages, is miraculous. It’s everything. The best advice I wish I’d heard was: “It’s precious. Live in the moment and focus on what’s happening.” Don’t let your mistakes take away all the goodness.
All children have to recover from their childhood. That’s just the way it is.
Go hug your mom and tell her: Thanks.
Thank God for children. How would we have grown up without them?
I would imagine that all of you mothers can relate to what Katie wrote. This applies also to those of you who are not mothers yourselves, but have shown the same kind of nurturing and caring to those around you.
Motherhood is serious business, and it’s not for the faint of heart!
I think it’s a lucky thing that the Gospel lesson on this Mother’s Day is the one where Jesus prays for unity. He prays that all of his followers might be one in heart, mind, and spirit, just as he and the Father are one. It’s a lucky thing because what is one of the hallmarks of motherhood? Isn’t it the establishment and the maintenance of unity in the family? In so many families, it’s the mother who smoothes out ruffled feathers and heals bruised egos; it’s good old Mom who makes sure that everybody in the family is cared for, and who expects harmony and unity to be the order of the day under her roof.
Sometimes that unity is enforced by statements like “Because I’m the Mommy, that’s why!” We’ve all heard the term “tough love.” That’s the kind of love mothers show when they have to. She disciplines the child, endures the reproaches of “that’s not fair!” and the awful words “I hate you!” even though her heart is breaking, because she loves that wayward child so much that the pain is worth it if the kid eventually comes around.
Mothers teach us not only how to view the world but how to live in it. They are on the front lines in the quest to bring about the unity Jesus prays for in today’s lesson – by teaching us how to “play nice with others,” they teach us about justice, right and wrong, respect for others – and all of these things must be present for there to be unity.
Mothers truly do the work of God. I put a picture with a quote from Rudyard Kipling, the 19th-Century British writer, on my FaceBook page the other day – the quote goes like this: “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”
Kipling was an unabashed imperialist and is considered by many to have been one of the most influential men of his time, the type of man we call an “empire builder” – but no man ever built an empire without the foundation he got from his mother.
I’d like to close with the essay that Erma Bombeck wrote many years ago – I’ve shared it on other Mother’s Days, but I think it really sums up what I’ve been talking about.
Bombeck says that on the day God created mothers He had already worked long overtime. And an angel said to Him, “Lord, you sure are spending a lot of time on this one.”
The Lord turned & said, “Have you read the specs on this model? She is supposed to be completely washable, but not plastic. She is to have 180 moving parts, all of them replaceable. She is to have a kiss that will heal everything from a broken leg to a broken heart. She is to have a lap that will disappear whenever she stands up. She is to be able to function on black coffee & leftovers. And she is supposed to have six pairs of hands.”
“Six pairs of hands,” said the angel, “that’s impossible.” “It’s not the six pairs of hands that bother me.” said the Lord, “It’s the three pairs of eyes. She is supposed to have one pair that sees through closed doors so that whenever she says, `What are you kids doing in there?’ she already knows what they’re doing in there.”
“She has another pair in the back of her head to see all the things she is not supposed to see but must see. And then she has one pair right in front that can look at a child that just goofed & communicate love & understanding without saying a word.”
“That’s too much.” said the angel, “You can’t put that much in one model. Why don’t you rest for a while & resume your creating tomorrow?”
“No, I can’t,” said the Lord. “I’m close to creating someone very much like myself. I’ve already come up with a model who can heal herself when she is sick – who can feed a family of six with one pound of hamburger – & who can persuade a nine year old to take a shower.”
Then the angel looked at the model of motherhood a little more closely & said, “She’s too soft.” “Oh, but she is tough,” said the Lord. “You’d be surprised at how much this mother can do.”
“Can she think?” asked the angel. “Not only can she think,” said the Lord, “but she can reason & compromise & persuade.”
Then the angel reached over & touched her cheek. “This one has a leak,” he said. “I told you that you couldn’t put that much in one model.” “That’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “That’s a tear.”
“What’s a tear for?” asked the angel. “Well it’s for joy, for sadness, for sorrow, for disappointment, for pride.” “You’re a genius,” said the angel. And the Lord said, “Oh, but I didn’t put it there.”
Thank you, mothers of St. John’s! Thank you mothers everywhere!
In the Name of God, the Holy and Undivided Trinity. Amen.